Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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