so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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