smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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