I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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