lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize