i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
