Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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