oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize