There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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