Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
