Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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