I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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