I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
