Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
