barbara walters just said penis...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
