I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
