My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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