we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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