So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
