Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pants are for mortals
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
