We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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