They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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