scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
