Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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