So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
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saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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