Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
