At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
