I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just forgot I was standing up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These tits shall not be calmed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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