sarcasm needs its own font
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
