A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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