Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
