She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
