It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.