Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
