I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
