We're like a lot better than the average bears
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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