trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
