Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
