at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize