I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Buhtt sex?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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