First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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