i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
