shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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