Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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