i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
