Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Mom said you looked used
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
