So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
how does that bad decision feel?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
