Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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