Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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