i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize