i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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