Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Congratulations! We have a period
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