A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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