Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
