new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
