how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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