so that wasnt chicken after all
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Even my vagina gasped.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
