How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
