So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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