they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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