I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
The air taste purple.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
