i jhust puked up my retainher.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
