i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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