hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
someone owes me an orgasm
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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