Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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