i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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