they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
