I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
